Why I’m doing things alone

While you are reading through this blog I want to give everyone a little background. I am my parents’ only child; my dad had two kids from a previous marriage (a boy and a girl). My brother’s step-dad adopted him, and he has nothing to do with my parents. Over the years, I have had some instances where I talk to him for a while, and then the family dynamics get in the way, and we don’t talk for years. To give you a little time frame here, I am 52, and my brother will be 61 in the fall. After 14 years of not talking to him, he contacted me in late May 2026. The reason we weren’t talking doesn’t really matter; I will just say feelings were hurt, and we all know how that goes. The morning my brother texted me, I was at the hospital with my dad. He had been at the nursing facility he is currently at for about a month, and long story short, he got pneumonia. At first I was too shocked to respond to my brother, but his text did say he would like to have contact with me. I finally responded and said I was fine with that and told him I was in the hospital with Dad and would talk to him later. Here it is a few months later, and I do still talk to my brother. We text and check in on each other to see how things are going. However, he does not see Dad or even ask about him. Which I am fine with, and I understand.

My sister passed away 5 years ago from cancer. She was 12 years older than I am. She had my mom adopt her when she was a senior in high school. My sister lived with us until I was in the 7th grade. I was the annoying little sister who followed her everywhere, and I’m sure it annoyed her. After she was married, a few years went by, and she didn’t have much to do with us. Which I’m not downing her for at all. My parents aren’t the easiest to get along with, trust me on that one. So, she really wasn’t around much at all. After my sophomore year in high school, I pretty much was an only child. Within the past 4-5 months, her husband and daughter (who has cerebral palsy) have come to the nursing facility to see my parents. He’s like another brother to me, and I do keep him updated on things going on with my parents.

Why am I telling you all this? So, you will all realize I am dealing with my parents and their dementia on my own. Yes, I have a husband, but he doesn’t get along with my parents. He is there for me and understands what I’m going through, but he doesn’t go with me to visit my parents or do things for them.